الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
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(Men are in charge of women…) [4:34]. Said Muqatil: “This verse (Men are in charge of women…) wasrevealed about Sa‘d ibn al-Rabi‘, who was one of the leaders of the Helpers (nuqaba’), and his wife Habibahbint Zayd ibn Abi Zuhayr, both of whom from the Helpers. It happened Sa‘d hit his wife on the face becauseshe rebelled against him. Then her father went with her to see the Prophet, Allah bless him and give himpeace. He said to him: ‘I gave him my daughter in marriage and he slapped her’. The Prophet, Allah blesshim and give him peace, said: ‘Let her have retaliation against her husband’. As she was leaving with herfather to execute retaliation, the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, called them and said: ‘Comeback; Gabriel has come to me’, and Allah, exalted is He, revealed this verse. The Messenger of Allah, Allahbless him and give him peace, said: ‘We wanted something while Allah wanted something else, and thatwhich Allah wants is good’. Retaliation was then suspended”. Sa‘id ibn Muhammad ibn Ahmad al-Zahidinformed us> Zahir ibn Ahmad> Ahmad ibn al-Husayn ibn Junayd> Ziyad ibn Ayyub> Hushaym> Yunus ibnal-Hasan who reported that a man slapped his wife and she complained about him to the Prophet, Allahbless him and give him peace. Her family who went with her said: “O Messenger of Allah! So-and-so hasslapped our girl”. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, kept saying: “Retaliation! Retaliation!And there is no other judgement to be held”. But then this verse (Men are in charge of women…) wasrevealed and the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: “We wanted something and Allahwanted something else”. Abu Bakr al-Harithi informed us> Abu’l-Shaykh al-Hafiz> Abu Yahya al-Razi> Sahlal-‘Askari> ‘Ali ibn Hashim> Isma‘il> al-Hasan who said: “Around the time when the verse on retaliation wasrevealed amongst the Muslims, a man had slapped his wife. She went to the Prophet, Allah bless him andgive him peace and said: ‘My husband has slapped me and I want retaliation’. So he said: ‘Let there beretaliation’. As he was still dealing with her, Allah, exalted is He, revealed (Men are in charge of women,because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other…). Upon which the Prophet, Allah bless himand give him peace, said: ‘We wanted something and my Lord wanted something different. O man, takeyour wife by the hand’ ”.
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ فَالصَّـلِحَـتُ قَـنِتَـتٌ حَـفِظَـتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ وَاللَّـتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّاً كَبِيراً
(34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are Qanitat, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard. As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them, and abandon them in their beds, and beat them, but if they return to obedience, do not seek a means against them. Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.)Allah said,
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ
(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,) meaning, the man is responsible for the woman, and he is her maintainer, caretaker and leader who disciplines her if she deviates.
بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ
(because Allah has made one of them to excel the other,) meaning, because men excel over women and are better than them for certain tasks. This is why prophethood was exclusive of men, as well as other important positions of leadership. The Prophet said,
«لَنْ يُفْلِحَ قَوْمٌ وَلَّوْا أَمْرَهُمُ امْرَأَة»
(People who appoint a woman to be their leader, will never achieve success.) Al-Bukhari recorded this Hadith. Such is the case with appointing women as judges or on other positions of leadership.
وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ
(and because they spend from their means.) meaning the dowry, expenditures and various expenses that Allah ordained in His Book and the Sunnah of His Messenger for men to spend on women. For these reasons it is suitable that he is appointed her maintainer, just as Allah said,
وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ
(But men have a degree (of responsibility) over them).
Allah said,
(Therefore, the righteous) women,
(are Qanitat), obedient to their husbands, as Ibn `Abbas and others stated.
حَـفِظَـتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ
(and guard in the husband's absence) As-Suddi and others said that it means she protects her honor and her husband's property when he is absent, and Allah's statement,
بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ
(what Allah orders them to guard.) means, the protected husband is the one whom Allah protects. Ibn Jarir recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,
«خَيْرُ النِّسَاءِ امْرَأَةٌ إِذَا نَظَرْتَ إِلَيْهَا سَرَّتْكَ، وَإِذَا أَمَرْتَهَا أَطَاعَتْكَ، وَإِذَا غِبْتَ عَنْهَا حَفِظَتْكَ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِك»
(The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.) Then, the Messenger of Allah recited the Ayah,
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ
(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, ) until its end. Imam Ahmad recorded that `Abdur-Rahman bin 'Awf said that the Messenger of Allah said,
«إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا، قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ الْأَبْوَابِ شِئْت»
(If the woman prayed her five daily prayers, fasted her month, protected her chastity and obeyed her husband, she will be told, 'Enter Paradise from any of its doors you wish.')
Allah said,
وَاللَّـتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ
(As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct,) meaning, the woman from whom you see ill conduct with her husband, such as when she acts as if she is above her husband, disobeys him, ignores him, dislikes him, and so forth. When these signs appear in a woman, her husband should advise her and remind her of Allah's torment if she disobeys him. Indeed, Allah ordered the wife to obey her husband and prohibited her from disobeying him, because of the enormity of his rights and all that he does for her. The Messenger of Allah said,
«لَوْ كُنْتُ آمِرًا أَحَدًا أَنْ يَسْجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ، لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَةَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِهَا، مِنْ عِظَمِ حَقِّهِ عَلَيْهَا»
(If I were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband, because of the enormity of his right upon her.) Al-Bukhari recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,
«إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ عَلَيْهِ، لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِح»
(If the man asks his wife to come to his bed and she declines, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.) Muslim recorded it with the wording,
«إِذَا بَاتَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ هَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا، لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِح»
(If the wife goes to sleep while ignoring her husband's bed, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.) This is why Allah said,
وَاللَّـتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ
(As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first)). Allah's statement,
وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى الْمَضَاجِعِ
(abandon them in their beds,) `Ali bin Abi Talhah reported that Ibn `Abbas said "The abandonment refers to not having intercourse with her, to lie on her bed with his back to her.'' Several others said similarly. As-Suddi, Ad-Dahhak, `Ikrimah, and Ibn `Abbas, in another narration, added, "Not to speak with her or talk to her.'' The Sunan and Musnad compilers recorded that Mu`awiyah bin Haydah Al-Qushayri said, "O Allah's Messenger! What is the right that the wife of one of us has on him'' The Prophet said,
«أَنْ تُطْعِمَهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ، وَتَكْسُوَهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ، وَلَا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْهَ، وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ، وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْت»
(To feed her when you eat, cloth her when you buy clothes for yourself, refrain from striking her face or cursing her, and to not abandon her, except in the house.) Allah's statement,
(beat them) means, if advice and ignoring her in the bed do not produce the desired results, you are allowed to discipline the wife, without severe beating. Muslim recorded that Jabir said that during the Farewell Hajj, the Prophet said;
«وَاتَّقُوا اللهَ فِي النِّسَاءِ، فَإِنَّهُنَّ عِنْدَكُمْ عَوَانٍ، وَلَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ أَنْ لَا يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ أَحَدًا تَكْرَهُونَهُ،فَإِنْ فَعَلْنَ ذَلِكَ فَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَيْرَ مُبَرِحٍ، وَلَهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوف»
(Fear Allah regarding women, for they are your assistants. You have the right on them that they do not allow any person whom you dislike to step on your mat. However, if they do that, you are allowed to discipline them lightly. They have a right on you that you provide them with their provision and clothes, in a reasonable manner.) Ibn `Abbas and several others said that the Ayah refers to a beating that is not violent. Al-Hasan Al-Basri said that it means, a beating that is not severe.
Allah said,
فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً
(but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance),) meaning, when the wife obeys her husband in all that Allah has allowed, then no means of annoyance from the husband are allowed against his wife. Therefore, in this case, the husband does not have the right to beat her or shun her bed. Allah's statement,
إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّاً كَبِيراً
(Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.) reminds men that if they transgress against their wives without justification, then Allah, the Ever Most High, Most Great, is their Protector, and He will exert revenge on those who transgress against their wives and deal with them unjustly.
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Yakni berkuasa. Mereka berhak mengatur wanita, menekan mereka untuk memenuhi hak Allah, seperti menjaga yang fardhu dan menghindarkan bahaya dari mereka. Kaum laki-laki juga pemimpin kaum perempuan dalam arti yang memberi nafkah, pakaian dan tempat tinggal.
Kelebihan laki-laki di atas perempuan dapat dilihat dari beberapa sisi, di antaranya karena kewalian khusus dimiliki laki-laki, kenabian dan kerasulan juga khusus bagi laki-laki, dikhususkan bagi mereka beberapa ibadah seperti jihad, shalat Jum'at dsb. Demikian juga dilebihkannya laki-laki dalam hal akal, kesabaran dan kekuatan yang tidak dimiliki kaum perempuan.
Maksudnya taat kepada suaminya meskipun suaminya sedang tidak ada, ia memelihara rahasia dan harta suaminya.
Maksudnya Allah telah mewajibkan kepada suami untuk mempergauli istrinya dengan baik.
Yakni nampak tanda-tanda nusyuz. Nusyuz adalah meninggalkan kewajiban bersuami isteri. nusyuz dari pihak isteri seperti meninggalkan rumah tanpa izin suaminya.
Terangkanlah kepada mereka hukum menaati suami, mendorong mereka untuk taat, takutkanlah mereka dengan siksaan Allah jika durhaka kepada suaminya.
Yakni jika mereka telah menampakkan nusyuz. Dengan tidak tidur bersamanya dan tidak menggaulinya sekedar agar tujuan dapat tercapai.
Dengan pukulan yang tidak keras, jika pisah ranjang tidak membut mereka berhenti dari nusyuz.
Maksudnya untuk memberi pelajaran kepada istri yang dikhawatirkan pembangkangannya harus dimulai dengan memberi nasihat. Jika nasihat tidak bermanfaat, barulah dipisahkan dari tempat tidur mereka, jika tidak bermanfaat juga barulah dibolehkan memukul mereka dengan pukulan yang tidak meninggalkan bekas atau pukulan yang keras. Jika cara pertama ada manfaatnya, janganlah digunakan cara yang lain dan seterusnya. Ada pula yang menafsirkan "Tetapi, jika mereka menaatimu, maka janganlah kamu mencari-cari alasan untuk menyusahkannya" yakni janganlah membahas masalah yang telah lalu, mencari-cari aib yang jika dibahas malah menimbulkan madharat dan keburukan.
Yakni memiliki ketinggian secara mutlak dengan segala sisi dan I'tibarat (segi); Dia Tinggi dzat-Nya, Dia tinggi kedudukan-Nya dan Tinggi pula kekuasaan-Nya.
Maha besar adalah Yang tidak ada yang lebih besar dan lebih agung daripada-Nya, yang besar dzat dan sifat-Nya. Oleh karena itu, takutlah terhadap siksaan-Nya jika kamu menzalimi mereka.
